Recently retired from the California Department of Education, Andrew Laufer is writing a book about his life including periods as a butcher's helper, food service worker, construction laborer, animal research assistant, seasonal fire fighter, and janitor. In his youth, he hitch-hiked up and down the coast and out to Colorado numerous times providing context for hundreds of short stories.
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Preparing for Adolescence:
Self-awareness. Age 48
Preparing for Adolescence:
Self-awareness. Age 48
I was 38 years-old when my daughter was born. Her mom poked me around 5:30 a.m. to tell me her water broke. It was May 5th and I was excited that we were going to have a Cinco de Mayo baby. Well, Amanda wanted her own special day.
Twenty-seven hours later, on May 6th, Amanda was in the doctor’s hands. I was tense, my eyes locked on the doctor and child as he was vigorously rubbing Amanda’s chest while saying over and over “Come on, come on, . . .” It was a long 20 seconds or so, before Amanda finally took a huge breath and started screaming. Such a joyful noise. I couldn’t hold back the tears.
Amanda was our first, growing into a healthy vibrant 2-year-old by the time her brother came along. Two years and one day later, after a nine-hour labor, Javier came out swinging with a set of lungs that nearly raised the roof. I remember his chest was huge. Now we had two, born May 6th and May 7th respectively, and they became our entire life.
Both kids got to spend at least two years with their Grandma Valle before going to preschool. After that, they both knew as much English as Spanish. When it was time for kindergarten, both went to the same school and had the same teachers through eighth grade. Each had a similar story to tell about their teachers, though from different perspectives.
A striking difference was when they came home and talked about what they learned in Health Education around the fifth or sixth grade. That class was the beginning of a whole new world for them. The school was very responsible about instruction related to procreation sending home parent permission slips. I figured the school could do a better job than I could, and both kids handled the information well.
Javier was a good student in this subject. He told me stories of the boys being giggly and talking about sex like it was a joke. They were being mean to some of the girls. All I could do was instruct him to be mature about it, and to be kind to the girls.
Amanda told me about personality changes that I might expect from her during adolescence. She said, “Dad, in another year or two, I’m going to go through puberty and I’m not going to be very nice. I’m just telling you this now because you are going to have to be patient with me. Okay?” She was very sincere when she said it. I thanked her for the warning and told her I would love her no matter what.
Did her prophecy come to fruition? No more than for any other red-blooded American girl. Did I need to be patient? Yes, of course. Was it a burden? Not by any stretch of the imagination. It was another great life experience I was prepared for because of a thoughtful warning.
~ Andy Laufer
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